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Alabama 3 Artist Feature


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Groovy Baby
Pretty kewl
a-ok
enough already
god awful
Vanilla Ice

 
Biography
It was a day of miracles signs and portents. The animals of the forest were the first creatures to feel it. The birds sang as they did that first day of creation, when the Lord gave them breath. The wild dogs all of a sudden ceased their howling and scavenging and, heads tilted to the side, listened to the keening of the birds. Their song filled them with an indefinable sense of wonder and joy. It was a message of great import.

Poor ROBERT SPRAGG woke from a long and tortuous night of uneasy dreams covered in a slimy film of sweat. The apparitions of his nightmares still haunted him as he entered consciousness but they were soon vanquished by the golden rays of the sun. He felt a warm benevolence course through his tired and pain wracked frame for the first time since he was dragged, unwilling, to the stark confines of this God-forsaken place.

The wretch was now just able to able to distinguish the other patients on the ward. The gargantuan bulk of PIERS MARSH stirred slowly in the bed opposite; sitting up he caught the eye of his fellow addict. "Mornin'", he said simply, the first words he had spoken since being brought to the rehabilitation unit many months ago. An unbearable snorer, Rob was reluctant to return the greeting; he'd kept him awake for months. But this morning was different: "G'mornin'" he replied eagerly, full of beans.

"Sleep well?" "Nah", muttered the big fellow. "Kept having these weird dreams 'bout a man with skin of gold and a way of speaking that made perfect sense. Ah wish ah knew someone like that in mah life. Ah sure think he could make me feel a whole lot better than ah do right now." The rasping cackle of an old drunk came from the other end of the ward. "A fella with gold skin, y'say? Damned if ah didn't have the same dream there. Same voice too, like honey it was, real sweet an' soothin'. He was speakin' to a large crowd o' people, ordinary folk, jes like you an' me. An' what he was sayin' jus' put everybody instantly at peace. Then a great white light opened up in the sky an' then he jus' ascended on up to the heavens, like he was an angel or sumpin. Dang, it sho was sumpin." It was old SIMON EDWARDS, a lush who'd spent more than half his life in institutions like this due to his chronic addiction to Tennants' Ole Purple Tin.

By now the rest of the ward was awake. Young MADDE ROSS, a sweet will o' the wisp of a gal from the wrong side of the tracks, spoke of how the angel with the golden skin showed her a life of beauty and fulfilment if only she'd follow his teachin's. JOHNNY DELAFONS, abandoned as a boy of seven years to the care of a cruel uncle, repeated the same story as did the other patients. CHRIS McKAY spoke of the supernatural lights conjured as the fabulous being made his ascent. STUART GREEN related how the Golden Skinned one conferred great riches upon his followers. ROB BAILEY and ORLANDO HARRISON nodded silently in agreement, awestruck by the wondrous visions revealed to them..

As they sat down to breakfast in the canteen they - for the first time - shared the same table and talked eagerly about the dream. What could it mean? Had they been singled out for some special purpose unbeknown to them? As each one individually speculated on the significance of what had happened, a nurse appeared at the door of the canteen and hollered. "Group Therapy in 10 minutes everybody. Be sure to take all yo' medication aforehand. Thankin' y'all." The misbegotten souls shifted uncomfortably in their seats as they awaited Dr. Forbes to begin the session of Group Therapy. Forbes' idea of Group Therapy was considered pioneering, however his only success with this group so far was to fill them with inertia.

"Ah sure hopes he don't go on all days about 'becoming a person'", said Rob to Madde. "Who wants to be a fuckin' person anyway?", came the jaundiced reply from the cynical beauty with the blond hair. The doctor made his entry and a collective sigh went round the room. "Today", he began, "I want to introduce you to a special man. A great man, with great powers. Powers of healing. Powers of sight. Powers to raise you up from the quagmire of addiction into the light of love. So, let me waste no more time in introducing to you, the Reverend. Dr. D. Wayne Love." They couldn't believe their eyes. It was the golden skinned man from their dreams who walked in the room, resplendent with a proud purple afro and Kazals. They listened with baited breath for him to speak:

"Please allow me to introduce mahself, ah'm a man named, D. Wayne Love. Ah came down from up above many many years ago. Mah mission is simple, to bring to the attention of everybody on this God's earth, the Power Of Love. "Now ah know y'all people like gettin' high. Ah mean, let's face it, y'all wouldn't be in this awful place if you wasn't. An' be honest people, you been sittin' around here fo' months already, an' what good has it done ya? None! But people when you embrace the Light Of Love, through me, the right Reverend Dr. D. Wayne Love, you'll get high. Ah don't mean like from a piece o' hashish, or a sleepin' pill, or a fix a heroin - no sir! Ah'm gonna take ya even higher'n that! Why, when you take mah 12-step Plan, you will then know what it is like to be high. Real high! Oh, you'll still have a jones awright. But it'll be a love jones. Now are you ready to take part in the plan? To change yo' life? Once you do, there ain't no goin' back. So, brothers and sisters, friends, once again ah ask, ARE YOU READY?!!"

The sickly ones looked at each other. They knew immediately. They didn't need no consulting. They were ready. They had been waiting for this moment the whole of their miserable lives. They knew now they had been brought together for this meeting with Reverend Love. The rehab unit was only the conduit through which they received the message to assemble. Rob Spragg, the obvious leader of the group, addressed Reverend Love with a deference he had accorded no other man. "Reverend Love", he said humbly. "Show us the way, teach us your 12-step Plan."

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