Kelly Osbourne - Sleeping in the Nothing
Label: Sanctuary
 

Tracks: One Word Uh Oh Redlight Secret Lover I Can’t Wait Edge of Your Atmosphere Suburbia Don’t Touch Me While I’m Sleeping Save Me Entropy One Word (Remix)

Kevin Wierzbicki's review - he gave it a rating of 

It would be just too easy to take a swipe at Kelly Osbourne. Everybody knows that her often befuddled dad, Ozzy, has stated that his one goal in life is to climb the biggest pyramid in Egypt and “piss all down it.” Kelly’s mom, Sharon, is either a genius or a super-bitch or a genius super-bitch, depending on who you ask. Then there’s that whole “reality TV” thing. Do you just want to make it all go away? Easily enough done. Just pop in Sleeping in the Nothing.

Kelly’s new record is a fun revisit to the ’80s synth-pop sound, chock full of bouncy beats, percolating keyboards and clever lyrics. Kelly’s vocal work is surprisingly strong; she doesn’t need to be double or multi-tracked to stand out. She contributed a lyric here and there, but this album was written in its entirety by top-notch producer Linda Perry. Perry has Osbourne acting the snotty vixen one minute (“Secret Lover”) and cooing like Aimee Mann the next (“I Can’t Wait) and has her lined up with a full batch of winners. Kelly even sounds good threatening to cut off some guy’s balls on “Don’t Touch Me While I’m Sleeping.” The song is about date-rape and Kelly gets to swear up a storm on the track. Lots of choices for potential hits, but “One Word” should be the biggie at radio and on the dance floor. So here’s your chance to forget what you know (or think you know) about Ms. Kelly Osbourne. You officially have permission to enjoy.
 

antiGUY's Review - He gave it a Rating of 

In some ways, Kelly Osbourne reminds me of Michael Bolton. Both used other people's songs to try to boost their careers. ("Man Loves A Woman" – "Papa Don't Preach", "Changes"). You see Mr. Bolton also tried to make his mark as a hard rocker before seeing the writing on the wall and going soft. In Bolton's case, he decided to trade the distorted guitar in for syrupy adult contemporary love songs after the rockers failed to buy into his spiel. Kelly fell flat on her face when she tried to rock (her vocal talent must come from her mother's side of the family), now Kelly with the aid of producer Linda Perry is trying to recast herself as a retro new wave brat popster.  

Does it work? If you like vapid 80s pop delivered with a very limited vocal range, it might. But it's hard to take someone serious that switches horses in the middle of the race. It's an integrity issue and when that happens you can see that the music is probably not being created for the music's sake but instead to sell product. With that in mind, Kelly may succeed at her goal. She does sound a thousand times better on this album, although her voice is anything but world class. Even studio magic can't make Kelly out to be a great singer. Linda Perry does a decent job of defying my grandfather's age-old wisdom "you can't polish a turd."  It's still a turd, but it's passable in the market it is going after (easily forgettable pop, where standards are not set very high.)

I forced myself to listen to this CD two times before writing this and the impression I walked away with was that those that hated Kelly's "rock" album probably will hate this one too. I don't see many rockers gravitating to this one. This disc is more for their mallrat little sisters that want a tiny and safe taste of rebellion in their music but aren't ready to take the plunge into the real deal and still wish to stay safe within the TRL bubble (with a bit of 80s retro). 

I admit I'm biased against Kelly and her choice of music, I was at the age of those little sisters I mentioned previously (maybe a bit younger) the first time this musical formula was tried and I personally didn't buy it then.  But it is the perfect vehicle for Kelly as Missing Person's wasn't exactly known for their stellar vocals (the musicians in that band are another story). 

This CD is not the disaster that Kelly's rock album was, and it may spawn some hits, but it's still a shining example of how far standards have fallen in popular music. In other words, Kelly still (bleep)ing sucks. 
 

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