Elucidation of Popular Culture
In accordance with federal legislation
prohibiting discrimination, after a lengthy & expensive legal battle
to prevent me from contributing a monthly column presenting views contrary
to all antiMusic represents, I am pleased to announce the launch of your
new favorite feature on antiMusic: a lone voice of sanity in the insanity
that's antiMusic, the place where you can come for reliable advice on what
to think, the Veridical Polemic a.k.a. "I'm Always Right" column with Dolly
Doppelganger! Read my words and obey them if you want to be right all the
time, just like me!
As always the views expressed
by the writer do not neccessarily reflect the views of antiMUSIC or the
iconoclast entertainment group
.
The
Rich Do Everything Better Than Me, Part 1 (I hope)
Warrant:
Not Really Wanted Dead or Alive
Headhunter
Dolly
Hetty
Green Award 2006
Out
to Lunch
A
Moment of Silence for Jessie & Nick
Sharon's
Kampf
McBling
Royal
Crock
J.Lo's
Sinister Plan
Crisis
in Hollywood!
Dolly uncovers a conspiracy
in Hollywood.
Big
Macs & Tampax
(Let's
Rap About Crap!)
Hit
& Dumb
Paula
Abdul Stalker Needs to be Arrested for Setting Up Car Crash! (And no, the
right question isn't "who would stalk her anyway?")
Redefining
"PETA"
Bonus
VP: Making Money the New Fashioned Way
Shakespeare's
STD
It's
No One's Fault, Especially Mine!
Hetty
Green Award Goes To ...
MYOB!!
Killing MY Kids is MY Business! (Paging Eddie Vedder)
Brad
& Jen, Oh No!
Life
is Too Confusing, it Needs to be Simplified
The
Relentless, Creeping Insidiousness of Originality: The Remedy is in Imitationism
About Dolly
 Dolly
Doppelganger story
By Dolly Doppelganger
I am writing my own story, so I guess I
won’t have anyone to sue if I mess it up or fabricate parts of it. Maybe
someone else should write it for me. I’ll send out queries & wait a
few weeks.
Well, I’m back. Vanilla Ice said he was
too busy with his Live 8 tour & Ashlee Simpson’s drummer is too busy
answering congratulatory emails to bother responding to mine, so I guess
that means I have to write this! Boy, where to start? I’m so nervous;
does my font look all right?
Let me think.
Well, that didn’t take long, but I still
don’t know what to say!! I feel like you all already know me so well, and
welcome me into your home week after week, whenever you leave your windows
or doors unlocked, what’s left to tell? How about if I tell you about the
dramatic shark attack that changed my life & made me a better person?
Unfortunately, no such thing ever happened to me, and as a result, I still
suck. Similarly, I don’t know how to hang wallpaper so there are no bubbles,
and I’ve never named any of my animals Bubbles, either.
Well, direct all suggestions or comments
to my email; it’d be nice to get something in there besides viruses and
newsletters I don’t read.
The end of part 1. Parts 2-97, my childhood
are sure to follow as soon as I finish my doctoral thesis on the Unique
Fabulousness of the Riemann Mapping Theorem!
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